So saturday morning arrives navs benger up and at em woke james to go kayaking up the river nothing more to say as feck all happened cause he woldnt get up. might play rugby today cause im bloody well lonely all bloggers confined to barracks.
'Hanging Judge' mouldy has been on jury service, fuck me what a time to be a criminal !!
Nice to see big jock bloggin away rest of you move your hairy matelot or landlubbing swabs arses
there is some photos of mag 7 splinter group at al and maries on al&marie.blogspot.com sent them a quick note this morning good people.
goin now cause thunderbirds is coming on telly
BE FABULOUS
Saturday, 27 September 2008
Thursday, 25 September 2008
Brain Germs My Arse!
My opening statement in this entry is, "I fucking hate living in murtahurms, honest I do. On me muvvas eyes!" Therefore, I am writing to dispute the fact that I have brain germs! I would just like to say that I have never had difficulty parking a car in my life, and I proved this to Bomber last week when I reversed my vehicle a good 500m into my space. Alright Bomber, so I nearly lost my mirror and destroyed the hedge to my right, and I parked too close to the car on my left and you couldn't get your beer muscle out of the vehicle. Perhaps you should take a leaf out of Tim's book by going to the gym, losing a stone and looking damn fabulous to boot - take note fat boy!
Now I know everyone's Gaydar is going off but you cannot accuse any of us of being Heemersexers, Swing-bys or Beslians, well, perhaps you can call all the lads Beslians. I believe that we all still love Blandine. "Tim, have you asked her yet?"
Lads, I would love to go to France with you; honest I would, but with the credit crunch biting into my millions and with the fat boy in the Red suit just around the corner (not Bomber), I feel that I would become subjected to a gargantuan heap of shit if I left our wonderful shores for anywhere other than Dubai, Majorca or some other fabulously hot place. So I must decline this fabulous offer.
I do however, want to be reminded of the Suoz cricket match (I'll watch - Jock's can't play for toffee) and the Munich beerfest; plus any other fabulous events that the magnificent 7 (spelt correctly) are planning in the future.
So before I sign off I suggest that everyone attached to this blog continues to add entries, now and then. It is building into something that will far exceed the size of all J R R Tolkien's works and J K Rowlings' works combined.
SO GET BLOGGING - YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE - AND WE WILL TEXT YOU CONTINUALLY AND SEND YOU LOTS OF SPAM EMAILS IF YOU DON'T!
This is BigJock signing off - BE FABULOUS!
Saturday, 20 September 2008
Hey Mag 5 on the blog !!!
so far that is tim Jan bombs james confirmed, george on the fence ( weighing up options i have no doubt) nothing wrong with that mate but if you blow us out make sure you get a touch of the old govarno. Mouldy to be cajolled into it this weekend and as i am told big jock is taking a sabattical, brain germs got him. For those of you are not up to speed with the situation it is the navs benger theory that women have this process whereby they get you to start thinking like them in order to get a date, eg you suddenly and inexplicably agree that you like films about puppies etc then when your mindset is twisted and they agree to that first date they move in for the kill and chaps this is the dangerous part......the first kiss. this is not a kiss it is merely a process for transferring womens brain germs into your brain, this process is irreversible and permanent, symptons include not going on mag 7 reunion tours, staying in and watching middleeastenders(diversity issue), compulsion to shop for no apparent reason, salad for dinner every night and some breakfasts, it does have some benefits however, like being able to spot a potential rival for affections across whole continents. beware fellow voyageurs you have been warned !!
updates on cricket trip to Zuoz next year ( not murtahurm Big Jock) to be forthcoming, sri guys we missed munich beer fest this year will look into it for 09. George 'i dont blog ever' campbell starts uni as the oldest student in the history of academia soon good luck big fella, sorry thats jan, good luck matey.
Sat morning and me gonna have big deep bath for half hour, i can hear big jock screaming in envy but this england you can have one too .
BE FABULOUS
so far that is tim Jan bombs james confirmed, george on the fence ( weighing up options i have no doubt) nothing wrong with that mate but if you blow us out make sure you get a touch of the old govarno. Mouldy to be cajolled into it this weekend and as i am told big jock is taking a sabattical, brain germs got him. For those of you are not up to speed with the situation it is the navs benger theory that women have this process whereby they get you to start thinking like them in order to get a date, eg you suddenly and inexplicably agree that you like films about puppies etc then when your mindset is twisted and they agree to that first date they move in for the kill and chaps this is the dangerous part......the first kiss. this is not a kiss it is merely a process for transferring womens brain germs into your brain, this process is irreversible and permanent, symptons include not going on mag 7 reunion tours, staying in and watching middleeastenders(diversity issue), compulsion to shop for no apparent reason, salad for dinner every night and some breakfasts, it does have some benefits however, like being able to spot a potential rival for affections across whole continents. beware fellow voyageurs you have been warned !!
updates on cricket trip to Zuoz next year ( not murtahurm Big Jock) to be forthcoming, sri guys we missed munich beer fest this year will look into it for 09. George 'i dont blog ever' campbell starts uni as the oldest student in the history of academia soon good luck big fella, sorry thats jan, good luck matey.
Sat morning and me gonna have big deep bath for half hour, i can hear big jock screaming in envy but this england you can have one too .
BE FABULOUS
Wednesday, 17 September 2008
mini mag tour
Hi Ya all, mag 5 here at last adrift as usual !!, just wanna say, yes count me in for mini mag 7 tour this dec. I have leave booked from 29th nov, through to 12 dec, but this is changable with enough notice !! how is the coming weekend lookin for a mag 5 visit to the Malta, it will be a cheap weekend ,trust me i'm an ex matelot !!!
Be Fabulous one and all
Be Fabulous one and all
Tuesday, 16 September 2008
Hi all once again it falls on the old faithfulls, nice shots nik, for those interested it is suggested that early december a mini excursion is planned to Al and Maries in Brittanny this will cosist of basically a four day weekend in Brittany with al and marie who graciously and generously housed us after a reluctant start i think it went something along the lines of Bomber you fucker ! crossing pompey to St Malo evening and day there , half hour to destination two nights in the auspicious surroundins known as the Nautile, dat trip to be arranged back to blighty. those fellow voyageurs who had to return early, namely big jock and the campbell will want to put to rest the ghost of missing this important part in our growing up process, LS Peers Rtd is already on board cause if you take away the watery bit he only lives about a ten miles from where we are heading, dont lose this blog men we will get it published in ten years and be rich old gits with rockin chairs. Campbell are you going to organize the boys for A, Munich beer fest and B, Zuoz next year for old boys cricket, would love a game but up for the trip anyway, perhaps you organize a geriatrics game. Before closing this sectionI would like to announce the forthcoming marriage of myself and Blandine, i just got to ask her and then tally ho
BE FABULOUS
Any enquiries as to any trip call Tim or Bombs
BE FABULOUS
Any enquiries as to any trip call Tim or Bombs
Monday, 8 September 2008
Monday, 1 September 2008
I don't think I'll ever forget this trip
I would first of all like to thank Tim for his last posting and I am glad that, not once, did he mention my suicidal tendancies on the trip. If you don't believe I was suicidal then ask Minxie - she saw my face and promptly packed her bags and left for a nice Italian lakeside hotel (albeit a Gay one, ha,ha). I would like to point out though, that I am not the phantom shitter! I know that LS Peers rtd and I sank a litre bottle of Jacks, but I remember everything after that - honest I do!
Well, like the title suggests, I will never, ever, forget this most memorable trip around Europe. I know I kept a diary of the whole event and posted it on the blog, but looking back over the whole 11 days I too would like to do what Tim did and recollect my most memorable flashbacks. They are not in any order but here goes:
1. Waking up on my first morning in Europe and thinking that our passports and money had been stolen whilst we slept. That wasn't good for my nerves, especially being the tight Jock bastard that I am - cheers young James!
2. That lovely pot of Flemish stew in Ypres - yum, yum.
3. My impression of the Barnes Wallace bouncing bomb in that swimming pool west of Luxembourg. Did I get wet that night?
4. Tim and James going for a hot shower with that dodgy couple from the bar.
5. How pissed Mouldy got on three glasses of red wine (James - you really must tell him the truth you know), and when Mouldy appeared through his murtahurm curtain, tried to speak and his fuckin' teeth fell out, ha, ha, ha, christ I'm breaking my ribs here!!!
6. Bomber's reaction to seeing Gerry Peers sat in the back of his murtahurm whilst it was underway. Weren't you meant to be driving Gerry? Haa, haa, haa - you kill me you two, ha, ha.
7. Who took the photo of me asleep at the lunch table in Luxembourg? Bastards! There was me telling Mrs BigJock that I had a lovely time sightseeing and not a drop of the devils brew passed my lips until the champagne tour - I AM RIGHT IN THE SHIT!
8. That lovely Italian birds arse on the ferry across Lake Constance. Now you know why I didn't want to go to the bar for a beer.
9. Opening that bottle of beer whilst waiting for the MILFS to land - fuck me that bannister was hot!
10. Bomber losing his mobile phone on top of that pile of logs, ha, ha. Next time find a harder place to lose it!
11. That lovely bottle of red wine and the largest ice cream sundae in Europe, courtesy of my big pal Raymond Blackett Mills RNR, VD, BAR, SCAR, BSA and Sidecar.
12. Life then became a blur for me until we turned up at that beautiful campsite in Reid Brig, Switzerland. No rain - hot showers (remember my 25 minute hollywood shower? I'll never forget that!) - as many dumps as you wanted, when you wanted, unfortunately not where you wanted but hey, you can't have absolute perfection. Good old Donald - I am recommending him in the Queen's birthday honours list next year, on me muvva's eyes I am!
13. Being shot at by the Swiss army in the Simplon Pass. I thought they only carried knives? I never knew they had tanks as well.
14. Whitewater rafting? Did we do that? I've forgotten already, however, I do remember that glacier and how cold it was inside, especially wearing shorts and a T-shirt. PS. The photo of James stood on that rock and the view of the drop behind him, I'm sure you aged 30 years when you saw him that day Tim!
15. How pissed you can get by drinking two bottles of cheap Italian red, one after the other. Thanks for catching my fall James; I might not have been writing this if you hadn't.
16. Epernay, EEEPEEERNAAAAYY! MOET & CHANDON - Be fabulous, that's all I can say on the matter. Note to self: must learn more French so as to understand French waitresses and their dodgy humour. Was she really that pleased to serve us? Bomber, Mouldy, James - next time let's find the MacDonalds.
17. And last but certainly not least, the customs man not being brave enough to venture into the Spitroast Special's loo, ha, ha. Especially seeing that Bomber's emergency dump was still in situ.
18. Driving from Dover to Maidstone on side lights! Not wanting a copper and seeing four in succession. Gerry, if I had a pound for every driver you upset that night, blinding them with your full beam, I'd be a millionaire 3 times over, ha, ha.
BE FABULOUS, LOVELY PEOPLE and remember, if you plan another trip like this, just tell me the stops and I'll fly out. You can all use my hotel shower and thunderbox, ha, ha.
NEVER IN THE FIELD OF EUROPEAN MURTAHURMMING, HAS SO MANY LAUGHS BEEN CREATED, FOR SO MANY PEOPLE, BY SO FEW.
BE FABULOUS
Well, like the title suggests, I will never, ever, forget this most memorable trip around Europe. I know I kept a diary of the whole event and posted it on the blog, but looking back over the whole 11 days I too would like to do what Tim did and recollect my most memorable flashbacks. They are not in any order but here goes:
1. Waking up on my first morning in Europe and thinking that our passports and money had been stolen whilst we slept. That wasn't good for my nerves, especially being the tight Jock bastard that I am - cheers young James!
2. That lovely pot of Flemish stew in Ypres - yum, yum.
3. My impression of the Barnes Wallace bouncing bomb in that swimming pool west of Luxembourg. Did I get wet that night?
4. Tim and James going for a hot shower with that dodgy couple from the bar.
5. How pissed Mouldy got on three glasses of red wine (James - you really must tell him the truth you know), and when Mouldy appeared through his murtahurm curtain, tried to speak and his fuckin' teeth fell out, ha, ha, ha, christ I'm breaking my ribs here!!!
6. Bomber's reaction to seeing Gerry Peers sat in the back of his murtahurm whilst it was underway. Weren't you meant to be driving Gerry? Haa, haa, haa - you kill me you two, ha, ha.
7. Who took the photo of me asleep at the lunch table in Luxembourg? Bastards! There was me telling Mrs BigJock that I had a lovely time sightseeing and not a drop of the devils brew passed my lips until the champagne tour - I AM RIGHT IN THE SHIT!
8. That lovely Italian birds arse on the ferry across Lake Constance. Now you know why I didn't want to go to the bar for a beer.
9. Opening that bottle of beer whilst waiting for the MILFS to land - fuck me that bannister was hot!
10. Bomber losing his mobile phone on top of that pile of logs, ha, ha. Next time find a harder place to lose it!
11. That lovely bottle of red wine and the largest ice cream sundae in Europe, courtesy of my big pal Raymond Blackett Mills RNR, VD, BAR, SCAR, BSA and Sidecar.
12. Life then became a blur for me until we turned up at that beautiful campsite in Reid Brig, Switzerland. No rain - hot showers (remember my 25 minute hollywood shower? I'll never forget that!) - as many dumps as you wanted, when you wanted, unfortunately not where you wanted but hey, you can't have absolute perfection. Good old Donald - I am recommending him in the Queen's birthday honours list next year, on me muvva's eyes I am!
13. Being shot at by the Swiss army in the Simplon Pass. I thought they only carried knives? I never knew they had tanks as well.
14. Whitewater rafting? Did we do that? I've forgotten already, however, I do remember that glacier and how cold it was inside, especially wearing shorts and a T-shirt. PS. The photo of James stood on that rock and the view of the drop behind him, I'm sure you aged 30 years when you saw him that day Tim!
15. How pissed you can get by drinking two bottles of cheap Italian red, one after the other. Thanks for catching my fall James; I might not have been writing this if you hadn't.
16. Epernay, EEEPEEERNAAAAYY! MOET & CHANDON - Be fabulous, that's all I can say on the matter. Note to self: must learn more French so as to understand French waitresses and their dodgy humour. Was she really that pleased to serve us? Bomber, Mouldy, James - next time let's find the MacDonalds.
17. And last but certainly not least, the customs man not being brave enough to venture into the Spitroast Special's loo, ha, ha. Especially seeing that Bomber's emergency dump was still in situ.
18. Driving from Dover to Maidstone on side lights! Not wanting a copper and seeing four in succession. Gerry, if I had a pound for every driver you upset that night, blinding them with your full beam, I'd be a millionaire 3 times over, ha, ha.
BE FABULOUS, LOVELY PEOPLE and remember, if you plan another trip like this, just tell me the stops and I'll fly out. You can all use my hotel shower and thunderbox, ha, ha.
NEVER IN THE FIELD OF EUROPEAN MURTAHURMMING, HAS SO MANY LAUGHS BEEN CREATED, FOR SO MANY PEOPLE, BY SO FEW.
BE FABULOUS
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