Dear Brethren
Further to previous re: not taking things seriously, it falls upon my broad shoulders to bring you all back down to earth, after your virginal first / second / third postings. Yes, BigJock, you are correct in the assumptions that certain members of the Fraternity are using the blog for their own disgusting ends !!! Shame on you concerned, wouldn't it be better to get a room !! Can't it wait 'til St Moritz.
What is a MILF ?? I am so innocent, I have not told a lie in my whole life !
Could it stand for "Maids in Limbo format" ? "Mums in Lesbos Fraternity" ? "Martian Irridescent Life Force" ? "Mamorially Indecent Large Frizbies" ? Could someone give me a clue !!
However, I digress, and return, confused, to the point of my post.
For those not in the know, I will brief you all in the general aspects of the campaign.
Expedition Vehicles "Thunderbird 2" and "Spit-Roast Special" will be made ready by myself and Bomber, on Monday the 7th next, for loading and dispatch at approx. 17.00 hrs Tuesday the 8th.
The advance party will embark on the Landing Craft at Dover pontoon at 23.00 hrs BST, after suitable victualling in the nearby garrisons. The boarding party will make the said Landing Craft secure, and give a sitrep to all staff. Refreshments may be served. Please form an orderly queue at the Bar, preferably in rank order !
Following disembarcation in the land of the "white flags", we will proceed, in orderly fashion, through checkpoints in France / Belgium / Luxembourg / Germany, arriving in Freidericshaven, where we will pick up the reserve party at the aerodrome. Please ensure that you remain as inconspicuous as possible throughout this part of the operation, as "Johnny Foreigner" has not been told that we are coming ! It only needs a loose tongue, for them to rumble us !
Following loading of Wags and Milfs, the convoy will proceed south, crossing Lichstenstein, and entering Switzerland, eventually arriving at Zuoz, East of St Moritz. Here we meet up with the Resistance, MAG7, who has done all the initial reconnaisance, and needs to be re-patriated, along with his covert equipment. ( Cricket gear etc. )
After 2 days of R & R we continue south-west, entering Italy, and arriving at Lake Como.
The reserve party, having done their bit, ( or someone else's ) will be case-vacced in Milan, for RTU in Blighty.
The advance party will then continue, along with MAG7, on a meandering route, not yet planned, eventually arriving in the Champagne region of Froggy land, on a fact-finding mission and a reconnaisance of the Cellars. There is also a possibility of White-water rafting en route.
Here, the Company will separate. "Spit-roast Special" will make all speed for the Landing Craft and "Thunderbird 2" will continue West, skirting Paris, staying under the radar, to arrive at Bretagne, for a further 2 days R & R, visiting Ex-Pats. When the coast is clear, remaining personnel will travel incognito back to a further Landing Craft, via a rather good lunch in Le Touquet.
For those not at previous briefings, please note the checklist below of kit you will need for the sojourn.
Passport - Pillow - Sleeping bag - Washkit - Speedo's - DJ's etc - Personal towels - Dosh
It is suggested that 3 pairs of footwear are needed - Trainers or similar - Black shoes for Dinner - Beach floppies or similar. As you will be aware, storage will be at a premium in vehicles.
Those who may prefer to be billeted in a bivvy are also advised to bring roll mats or airbeds.
You may also wish to take out personal travel insurance.
Drivers and relief drivers need to carry both parts of their licence.
Just checking, does anyone have one of those 12v cool boxes ??? If so, bring it along.
Enough of the details, I'm knackered and turning in. Any questions - keep them to yourselves !!
Night all
NickA ( Logistics )
Monday, 30 June 2008
Navs benger
And so Navigation issues have been left to me no great surprise there considering murtahurm 1 owner requires sat nav to navigate three rerds to get hurm and murtahurm 2 pilot thinks sleeping on toll rerds heading for paris instead of calais is a recognised form of european driving at this point I would like to point out that milfs on sat night were filthy.
We will be assuming a green approach to our voyage if its green dont drink it
Now listen you need to understand that any question given the answer of 'not being understood' is a natural defence mechanism taught through generations by older wizened furry people and not intended to evade giving what would obviously be the wrong answer. Our voyage into the unknown will not give rise to war themes, sexism, heemafobia, greyhounds, the newly dicovered practice of klesbianism, john coxs knob or bella eating turds to get rid of the taste of steering wheels.
in order to start our day or whoever wishes to read us in order to start your day look into your partners eyes or your oppos if no partner exists and say the word filthy to each other and feel the warmth surround you. later fellow adventurers
We will be assuming a green approach to our voyage if its green dont drink it
Now listen you need to understand that any question given the answer of 'not being understood' is a natural defence mechanism taught through generations by older wizened furry people and not intended to evade giving what would obviously be the wrong answer. Our voyage into the unknown will not give rise to war themes, sexism, heemafobia, greyhounds, the newly dicovered practice of klesbianism, john coxs knob or bella eating turds to get rid of the taste of steering wheels.
in order to start our day or whoever wishes to read us in order to start your day look into your partners eyes or your oppos if no partner exists and say the word filthy to each other and feel the warmth surround you. later fellow adventurers
Three in a bed
So back at the lodgings of 'Cock of the Lock' the barefooted MILF arrived....all was quiet - well apart from the MILF who wanted to wake up MAG 3 sleeping soundly in his Murterhurm...
MAG 1 plies the MILF with gash bag brown wets but to no avail - she has crashed and burned with black feet and susshing on her mind...
MILF 2 AKA 'special child' partied the night away in the strange ale house - taking the bribe of fur ball vodkas - fickle bord! When did she arrive back at the lodgings no-one knows.......
So the morning is upon us and things get tricky. MILF 1 doesn't do mornings AT ALL! MAG 1 buoyed by the evenings activities is very agitated - fat boy old fart breakfast is waiting in the nearby Spanish hostelry and it waits for no MAG...
Timings were confused, abuse was shouted - there was nothing else for it but a bundle with Cock of the Lock (MAG 2). We passed the time with the 'guess what I am writing on your back' game - the agitated one was the best but couldn't wait to claim his prize - meat was calling him....it had been so long..
Filthy is a funny word....its the way your lips and tongue get round it that makes it so good....MILFs are good at filth.........hey that rhymes!!
Finally we broke free of the lodgings - looking fecking amazing for MILFs with so little sleep we stunned the locals with our frubes and paralysed the old farts with our humour and filthy linguistics..
Breakfast was a long affair highlighting the timings issue still further - but a very pleasant end to an eventful warm up!
Alas the drama was still to unfold....our exit from the lodgings was a rapid one - much drastic reversing and touching of hair went on - it was messy, complicated and slightly awkward...but hey MILFs are resilient beings and headed for the nearest Starbucks....xxx
MAG 1 plies the MILF with gash bag brown wets but to no avail - she has crashed and burned with black feet and susshing on her mind...
MILF 2 AKA 'special child' partied the night away in the strange ale house - taking the bribe of fur ball vodkas - fickle bord! When did she arrive back at the lodgings no-one knows.......
So the morning is upon us and things get tricky. MILF 1 doesn't do mornings AT ALL! MAG 1 buoyed by the evenings activities is very agitated - fat boy old fart breakfast is waiting in the nearby Spanish hostelry and it waits for no MAG...
Timings were confused, abuse was shouted - there was nothing else for it but a bundle with Cock of the Lock (MAG 2). We passed the time with the 'guess what I am writing on your back' game - the agitated one was the best but couldn't wait to claim his prize - meat was calling him....it had been so long..
Filthy is a funny word....its the way your lips and tongue get round it that makes it so good....MILFs are good at filth.........hey that rhymes!!
Finally we broke free of the lodgings - looking fecking amazing for MILFs with so little sleep we stunned the locals with our frubes and paralysed the old farts with our humour and filthy linguistics..
Breakfast was a long affair highlighting the timings issue still further - but a very pleasant end to an eventful warm up!
Alas the drama was still to unfold....our exit from the lodgings was a rapid one - much drastic reversing and touching of hair went on - it was messy, complicated and slightly awkward...but hey MILFs are resilient beings and headed for the nearest Starbucks....xxx
"Love is in the air..." - Well stop it, RIGHT NOW!
I would like the mutual appreciation society (you know who you are!), to stop sending secret love notes to one another on this blog. Porn is one thing but slush!...... that is crossing the line I tell you. Now, before you hint that I may be a bit jealous; I'm not. I have my old mate Jerry to keep me company on the long winter nights..... just like old times Mr Peers, ha, ha. Top or tail shipmate?
Bomber, reverse shallacking inbound with respect to your diabolical behaviour on last Blog entry - yellow card mehearty!
Bomber, reverse shallacking inbound with respect to your diabolical behaviour on last Blog entry - yellow card mehearty!
Mag 1 of the 7 here - Big tks to fellow authors
Bomber would like to firstly congratulate all fellow authors on the humorous content of the postings ! . . . . all v fab. Feel I must single out Chickess for special mention on her accurate description of the `old farts` planning the demise of the MILF`s. Can`t wait to hear of their fate .... even though I was there I can`t remember I tells ya ask me muva .... thats my story and I am sticking to it. Big Jock ..... yes I can`t spell its true standby for shallacking `ya big bassa` and I am MAG 1 and a special child and yes your right ` as the kurgen says in yr favourite movie Highlander there can be only one and thats me I tells ya on me muvas eyes !!!!!. MAG 3 Nick brills posting big man glad your wor logistics officer and as senior MAG BZ for pointing out how this trip should be conducted (in theory like! to the more less solubrious members of the MAG 7 .... MAG 6 tee hee) Loving the phots of Chickess (Defo organically filthy MILF) and MAG 3 (Nick) he actually does look like that but wiv a furry face ha ha. Laters.
Joke of the day:
wife says to husband ` u make love like you decorate`...... husband asks `what u mean very slow and very proffesionally` .....`no wifey replies I have to finish the job myself.
Foreign Office directive latest
All fellow "madders" please note the following information and act accordingly.
EU Directive No. 456179/954PE/762 EU/UK
In order to meet the conditions for joining the Single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase 'Spending a penny' is not to be used after 31st July 2008.
From this date, the correct terminology will be: 'Euronating'.
Thank you for your attention
EU Directive No. 456179/954PE/762 EU/UK
In order to meet the conditions for joining the Single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase 'Spending a penny' is not to be used after 31st July 2008.
From this date, the correct terminology will be: 'Euronating'.
Thank you for your attention
Have I hit the right key ?
Well, I may as well try this blog thingy, otherwise I will be labelled as computer-illigitimate !
As Logistics Officer and Senior member of this forthcoming jolly jaunt into the unknown depths of Europe, it has come to my attention that some fellow travellers are not taking this overseas operation seriously enough.
The object is not to upset the Germans, poon the locals, get legless, moon at the traffic cops, and generally create mayhem wherever we go.
Nay, it is to sample the different cultures, view the rich landscapes with awe, marvel at the wonder of the european road system, take in the subtle aromas of mountain pastures, partake of local specialities with dignity and grace, seek out and catalogue rare flora and fauna, be Ambassadors for the greatest Nation, ( saviours of the French - twice ), and return triumphant to the Homeland, to be heralded by the populace as " Our lads back from over the water " !!!!
Nah, Balls to that, let's upset the Germans etc.
As Logistics Officer and Senior member of this forthcoming jolly jaunt into the unknown depths of Europe, it has come to my attention that some fellow travellers are not taking this overseas operation seriously enough.
The object is not to upset the Germans, poon the locals, get legless, moon at the traffic cops, and generally create mayhem wherever we go.
Nay, it is to sample the different cultures, view the rich landscapes with awe, marvel at the wonder of the european road system, take in the subtle aromas of mountain pastures, partake of local specialities with dignity and grace, seek out and catalogue rare flora and fauna, be Ambassadors for the greatest Nation, ( saviours of the French - twice ), and return triumphant to the Homeland, to be heralded by the populace as " Our lads back from over the water " !!!!
Nah, Balls to that, let's upset the Germans etc.
Sunday, 29 June 2008
BigJock's first post PS.
PS. For those observant members of our society who have noticed that magnificent has been spelt wrong, please be advised that I will get Bomber to correct the errors of his ways. You'll have to bear with him because he is a Newcastle fellow born and bred (Geordie or maccam, I can't remember which side of the river he's from), and he had to leave school early to go down the mines, catch fish, open a stall on the market, get to his first Lindisfarne concert at city hall, etc, etc. So he left school aged 6 and didn't bother learning to spell, ha, ha.
PPS. This may start to get interesting, so be sure to stay tuned to our adventures. I await patiently for the flack I am about to receive.
PPS. This may start to get interesting, so be sure to stay tuned to our adventures. I await patiently for the flack I am about to receive.
BigJock's first post
Hi, this is Big Jock. Number 6 of the magnificent 7 but hoping to be number 1 by the end of the tour. "There can be only one!" Guessed the film? "I have something to say, it's better to burn out than to fade away!" Well, this is just a test because modern technology eludes me but I'll try anything once. I noticed the comment moderation and wondered if it filtered out swearing, so here goes: you can't, you can't, you can't, hee, hee. More than one way to skin a cat. My preferred method is to slit its throat and pull the skin over its tail; how do you eat yours? TTFN
Warm up for Europe!
Well what can I say? A night on the town in Maidstone to get us warmed up for our tour.....
A bit of an eclectic mix we are - two old farts, two MILFs with matching shoes and a young bord out on Saturday night.
It all started out so well in the planning - a BBQ in the afternoon, a few bevvies and then off to the discoteque! Not to be however as the MILFs were late (about four hours), the beef was not organic and we had to queue to get in....
Still off we went and discovered the delights of the garden of England....The old farts didn't like the queuing system or the dancing MILFs....so they got their wicked way by dragging them barefoot and bolloxed half way round the town to a never ending hill with the promise of a cold Smirnoff Ice and a sit down.
The ale house was odd and full of other eclectics - are they all coming on our tour? There was one bar stool and a dodgy dancefloor.....many drinks were consumed and fags smurked by the barefoot MILF..
This ale house was spookier than first impressions when one MILF escaped only to be locked in a taxi and wisked off for a different fate....banging on the windows to no avail she tried in vain to be freed. Her friend MILF sensing her distress tried to leave but was blocked by the big glasses at the main door.....were they ever to be reunited? Were the old farts to have their wicked way? What was to become of the European warm up???
To be continued.............
A bit of an eclectic mix we are - two old farts, two MILFs with matching shoes and a young bord out on Saturday night.
It all started out so well in the planning - a BBQ in the afternoon, a few bevvies and then off to the discoteque! Not to be however as the MILFs were late (about four hours), the beef was not organic and we had to queue to get in....
Still off we went and discovered the delights of the garden of England....The old farts didn't like the queuing system or the dancing MILFs....so they got their wicked way by dragging them barefoot and bolloxed half way round the town to a never ending hill with the promise of a cold Smirnoff Ice and a sit down.
The ale house was odd and full of other eclectics - are they all coming on our tour? There was one bar stool and a dodgy dancefloor.....many drinks were consumed and fags smurked by the barefoot MILF..
This ale house was spookier than first impressions when one MILF escaped only to be locked in a taxi and wisked off for a different fate....banging on the windows to no avail she tried in vain to be freed. Her friend MILF sensing her distress tried to leave but was blocked by the big glasses at the main door.....were they ever to be reunited? Were the old farts to have their wicked way? What was to become of the European warm up???
To be continued.............
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