Monday, 15 November 2010
Sunday, 4 July 2010
Thursday, 10 June 2010
Article seen on Orange webnews, particularly poignant
For years they’ve been a fashion faux-pas to rival the mankini, but now it would appear Speedos are making a comeback to these shores.
According to a survey by price comparison website Ciao.co.uk, there has been a 400% increase in searches for Speedo swimwear in the past six months compared to the same time last year. Worryingly, we are concerned that there are that many Geordies with computers, with the dangerous knowledge to be able to do searches !!
Speedo spokesperson and self-proclaimed poon-bandit, Raymond "Bomber" Mills, attempted to explain this alarming trend in terms of an increasing self-confidence with our bodies and a desire to flaunt what we’ve got. “Everyone wants to look their best on the beach and in the Murtaherm, like, and clearly Brits, particularly Geordies, have never been prouder to get their kit off, on me mother's eyes, Lifeboat” he said.
"Big, Fat Geordies are buffing themselves up so they are tanned and smooth from top to toe and are celebrating by looking for the tightest, tiniest and most revealing swimwear out there, not that there is that much to cover like !"
The skimpy trunks – often referred to disparagingly as “budgie smugglers” – have traditionally been popular on the Continent, typically with portly middle-aged, fat northerners, with dodgy accents, who seem blissfully oblivious to quite how little they’re leaving to the imagination.
But we proper Brits, other than Geordies, have up until now, never been fully comfortable with the concept of the Speedo, preferring the shapeless, functional appeal of swimming shorts. These have the added advantage of concealing any perceived inadequacies in the lunchbox department. Sweaty Skimpy Cock Coverers can be particularly offensive on full display at early doors in the confined space of a Murtaherm.
Swimming shorts are forbidden in many public pools on the Continent – ostensibly for the rather dubious reason that they’re unhygienic. But I can’t help feeling the Speedo is just yet another way for Europe to heap further humiliation on the True Brits, like with Eurovision. Have you ever heard a Geordie singing "Boom bang-a-bang", more like "Chirpy, Chirpy, cheap fuckin' cheap" ?
At least, most Geordies in the UK do have one small advantage over their Continental colleagues when it comes to wearing Speedos: if their bulges don’t quite measure up, they can always blame the cold weather.
Are Speedos the way forward, along with shoes with holes in, or should fat geordie fuckers, with not too much to hide, stick with the less revealing swimming shorts when in public? Let us know your thoughts by commenting below.
According to a survey by price comparison website Ciao.co.uk, there has been a 400% increase in searches for Speedo swimwear in the past six months compared to the same time last year. Worryingly, we are concerned that there are that many Geordies with computers, with the dangerous knowledge to be able to do searches !!
Speedo spokesperson and self-proclaimed poon-bandit, Raymond "Bomber" Mills, attempted to explain this alarming trend in terms of an increasing self-confidence with our bodies and a desire to flaunt what we’ve got. “Everyone wants to look their best on the beach and in the Murtaherm, like, and clearly Brits, particularly Geordies, have never been prouder to get their kit off, on me mother's eyes, Lifeboat” he said.
"Big, Fat Geordies are buffing themselves up so they are tanned and smooth from top to toe and are celebrating by looking for the tightest, tiniest and most revealing swimwear out there, not that there is that much to cover like !"
The skimpy trunks – often referred to disparagingly as “budgie smugglers” – have traditionally been popular on the Continent, typically with portly middle-aged, fat northerners, with dodgy accents, who seem blissfully oblivious to quite how little they’re leaving to the imagination.
But we proper Brits, other than Geordies, have up until now, never been fully comfortable with the concept of the Speedo, preferring the shapeless, functional appeal of swimming shorts. These have the added advantage of concealing any perceived inadequacies in the lunchbox department. Sweaty Skimpy Cock Coverers can be particularly offensive on full display at early doors in the confined space of a Murtaherm.
Swimming shorts are forbidden in many public pools on the Continent – ostensibly for the rather dubious reason that they’re unhygienic. But I can’t help feeling the Speedo is just yet another way for Europe to heap further humiliation on the True Brits, like with Eurovision. Have you ever heard a Geordie singing "Boom bang-a-bang", more like "Chirpy, Chirpy, cheap fuckin' cheap" ?
At least, most Geordies in the UK do have one small advantage over their Continental colleagues when it comes to wearing Speedos: if their bulges don’t quite measure up, they can always blame the cold weather.
Are Speedos the way forward, along with shoes with holes in, or should fat geordie fuckers, with not too much to hide, stick with the less revealing swimming shorts when in public? Let us know your thoughts by commenting below.
Sunday, 18 April 2010
Greetings from the outpost
Mornin' BigJock, nice to see that someone in our revered company of travellers still remembers how to put keyboard to desktop !
Re: the cd's, Navs Benger was given copies of all, to distribute to all ! He must be so busy doing "work" and stuff like that, that he has mislaid them. Question ; Could he navigate his way around a duck-pond, Answer ; Yes, providing there were drinking establishments and dubious women at alternating strategic points, to keep him wandering aimlessly around the bends !!
Obviously I will have to look at providing further copies of cd's to all, when I have a chance.
With regard to the BFG ( Big F****** Geordie ) I heard that he was last seen, wandering around Northwood muttering things like " Why can't we have a Coracle race on the Coaly Tyne"
Did you know that he used to be able to walk on water, but since buying those shoes, he keeps sinking up to his neck in the S***. Nothing changes then !
Concerning the next excursion into froggy territory, I am trying to convince The Significantly Other Half, that it would be good for her education in "Entante Cordiale" and "The Auld Alliance" to see just how good life can be, given limitless funding and a few dozen headache pills !
So far, she doesn't share my enthusiasm. Our excursion funds this year will be meagre following repairs to Thunderbird 2, and the expected contribution to Daughter's nuptials.
If I may take you to task, with regard to Internet security, please note that when we returned to Chez Al's that night, the computer was still running, with your good self still logged on, so there !!! Yah, Boo, Sucks. (sic)
Anyway, must sign off now as I have many pointless things to do
Tarra
Re: the cd's, Navs Benger was given copies of all, to distribute to all ! He must be so busy doing "work" and stuff like that, that he has mislaid them. Question ; Could he navigate his way around a duck-pond, Answer ; Yes, providing there were drinking establishments and dubious women at alternating strategic points, to keep him wandering aimlessly around the bends !!
Obviously I will have to look at providing further copies of cd's to all, when I have a chance.
With regard to the BFG ( Big F****** Geordie ) I heard that he was last seen, wandering around Northwood muttering things like " Why can't we have a Coracle race on the Coaly Tyne"
Did you know that he used to be able to walk on water, but since buying those shoes, he keeps sinking up to his neck in the S***. Nothing changes then !
Concerning the next excursion into froggy territory, I am trying to convince The Significantly Other Half, that it would be good for her education in "Entante Cordiale" and "The Auld Alliance" to see just how good life can be, given limitless funding and a few dozen headache pills !
So far, she doesn't share my enthusiasm. Our excursion funds this year will be meagre following repairs to Thunderbird 2, and the expected contribution to Daughter's nuptials.
If I may take you to task, with regard to Internet security, please note that when we returned to Chez Al's that night, the computer was still running, with your good self still logged on, so there !!! Yah, Boo, Sucks. (sic)
Anyway, must sign off now as I have many pointless things to do
Tarra
Thursday, 15 April 2010
Zanussi calling Earth
Hello Mouldy,
Yes I am still here mate - waiting for our fellow travellers to get back on this blog with something constructive. Can I have a copy of the CD's you have produced for all the european trips we've been on please? I see that planning has commenced for our next adventure to Al and Marie's on the 3rd week of August this year. I will be taking Mrs R this time to ensure I don't end up with another "blue nose", ha, ha.
PS. Where is the owner of this blog anyway??? Last seen on the Thames shouting for Durham during the University boat race. Someone really needs to re-brief him, ha, ha. Geordie's cannot row - remember the Rhone River rafting experience, ha, ha.
Yes I am still here mate - waiting for our fellow travellers to get back on this blog with something constructive. Can I have a copy of the CD's you have produced for all the european trips we've been on please? I see that planning has commenced for our next adventure to Al and Marie's on the 3rd week of August this year. I will be taking Mrs R this time to ensure I don't end up with another "blue nose", ha, ha.
PS. Where is the owner of this blog anyway??? Last seen on the Thames shouting for Durham during the University boat race. Someone really needs to re-brief him, ha, ha. Geordie's cannot row - remember the Rhone River rafting experience, ha, ha.
Thursday, 8 April 2010
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