Day 7 - Can it get any worse Big Jock?

After a fitful sleep the murtahurm crew awoke to, yes, you’ve guessed it, rain.

By the time Bomber and Big Jock awoke from their slumber, Jan P and Mouldy were nowhere to be seen and Thunderbird 2 was gone. Big Jock was by now suicidal because the prospect of his promised hot shower in the lakeside hotel was slowly but surely diminishing before him. Word had come through that the MILFS and Minxie were being evicted early i.e. 10.30am and not 12 noon and with the time fast approaching 10.28am Big Jock’s dream of Hollywood bliss had been snatched away. (“It’s a fuckin camping holiday Big Jock – get with the fuckin program Pampers Man!)

By the time SRS had reached the hotel car park, the MILFS, Minxie and the Thunderbird 2 crew had planned their day and were shooting off to catch the ferry to Bellagio. Benger and No.1 son tried their best to rally everyone’s spirits, bless their hearts, but Bomber and Suicidal Sid had decided to take their bad moods and bad weather the long way around to Bellagio via the Italian equivalent of the Khyber Pass (Dodgy Roads “R” Us).

SRS reached Bellagio in one piece thanks to a good old British lorry driver who led the way. A parking spot was procured then Bomber and Big Jock went for a hearty brunch of Minestrone soup and pizza. The T2 crew had also safely reached Bellagio by ferry and they were destined to meet up with the crew of SRS in due course.

Benger and his merry band of murtahurm pirates took Bellagio by storm, shopping and quaffing champagne cocktails. I hasten to add here that James thought they were shit and he could definitely make better Bellini’s back home.

Fully fed and watered Bomber and Big Jock showered, separately I hasten to add, then they got their glad rags on and went lakeside to drink a lovely bottle of Chianti classic and trough one of the largest fruit sundaes known to man. What a way to get your 5 a day, it was divine, yum, yum.

At around 4.30pm SRS took off back along the Khyber Pass and parked at the Pikey campsite. The Pet shop Boys and Erasure were still playing strong, so Bomber and Big Jock settled down and awaited the arrival of the T2 crew.

With the whole crew assembled the murtahurms headed off for Milan and the impending departure of the MILFS. Once this had been achieved and the MILFS were safely on a flight to Blighty, the murtahurm crews and Minxie went on a magical mystery tour courtesy of Bomber’s satnav. The fuckin machine lied like a cheap Chinese menu and after crossing our 100th roundabout, passing our 50th new road (that wasn’t even on the fuckin satnav) and going down the wrong road a few times, we eventually parked up for the night in a ………., wait for it………. fuckin petrol station. Another first for Big Jock to go with his Pikey campsite and top French dogging spot! Mouldy came to the rescue for a 2nd night running and cooked up a wonderful mixture of casseroles before we all turned in.