A lot of water has passed under the Allington Lock bridge since my last entry onto this most famous and fabulous of blogs. The lovely Janina and I have paid two visits to NAVS BENGER at the canal and we made sure he was "loafing correctly." Cheer for the hospitality Tim xx. We did have to ask the senior lock-keeper if he was around though, ha, ha. Once again we found Tim immersed in Beck's Lager Beer at the Malta Inn - nothing changes in Maidstone! That's not true actually; my last visit to the 3 squirrels confirmed my suspicion that the ladies are indeed keeping their small panties on these days. It must be this shitty weather we're having.
You will all be pleased to know that I have signed up for the "Magnificent 7's 2009 tour of French cheese and wine parties." It is going to be brilliant but I am NOT SLEEPING IN A FUCKIN' MURTAHURM!!!!!!!!! I'd rather eat my own arse.
As you can all see the 2008 European tour still lingers heavily on my mind - you bastards!!
Before I pop out to a posh Bistro and spend some more of the hard earned "Rennie Millions", I'd just like to clarify that I did not dump in Mouldy's thunderbox. Now stop spreading malicious rumours about me "GRANDAD!!!"
I will see you all next month and you better all be pub fit when I turn up - that includes you to Tree Beard, you Geordie caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnt!!
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BE FABULOUS xx
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